This is gonna be a bunch of word vomit and such, so...you've been warned.
I have dreams. Dreams that I can just ALMOST touch. They light a fire in me, and I feel a drive to do everything I can to reach them.
That looks pretty low key, emotionless and lame when I type it out. But it's true. And here's the other truth: I feel like I've been given an entire shop's worth of tools to get there, and I don't know how to use the hammer.
I have been frustrated. I found something that changed my life. I love it, and I AM NOT going back to a life without it. Logically, I would want to share that with the people I love, with my friends, with anyone that I think it would help. Right?
But there's another problem. I'm afraid. I get myself all hyped up to do awesome things, to work hard to reach my goals, to get my energy on the same level as the things I desire, and then I freeze. "Nobody wants to hear this from me. If I bring up the subject that I have something that could help someone, that person will hate me. Ugh, I'm so annoying, I should just leave them alone."
I'm doing all the leg work, and getting all my ducks in a row. All the details are perfect, but I'm just spinning my wheels.
Has that happened to anyone else? What did you do to move past it?
I've been listening to a book, "You Are A Badass," by Jen Sincero. FANTASTIC advice, but she's got a bit of a potty mouth (now you know). But the point of this book is that every single person has the potential to not only be AMAZE-BALLS, but we each have the power to manifest, create, or attract the life we want. Sounds like a fairy tale, right? But even BEYOND that, she says that we each have the RESPONSIBILITY to reach our potential, so that we can bless the world, the charities we support, every person we meet--whomever, with our talents and awesomeness.
And I like that. I want that. And she's not just spitting in the wind. She's speaking truth. Even if you don't believe in God, or the power of "The Universe," fate, or destiny, I know that when I surround myself with uplifting and inspiring people and media, I can FEEL that I have elevated myself, and I put out way more good karma, or energy, or whatever you want to call it.
I'm a religious person, and growing up the basic equation was "do good things"--> "get blessings". And that's still true, but now I'm way more intentional about it. I have a specific life that I want, and a way that I know that I can be of service to others. And that is what I visualize. Why shouldn't I approach Heavenly Father and say, "This is what I want; this is how I can serve you. May I please have this?"
There's a concept in this scripture that I like: "And as surely as Christ liveth he spake these words unto our fathers, saying: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you." Moroni 7:26. If I have a righteous desire, and I have faith that God will give it to me, He will.
That's powerful stuff.
So back to my issues. I suppose the underlying problem here is that my fear is bigger than my faith. And that's something I'm working on. But I want to say to my friends and family that I've approached, I am sorry if I come off as awkward and sales-y. That is not my intention AT ALL. If you say no, that doesn't hurt my feelings :-) I just want to share something that has blessed my life with you; even if I'm awkward and nerdy and painful to watch while I do that. I love you ;-)
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